Thanks Be

Things I am thankful for:

Having down-time without a job to experiment with fun recipes and feed my husband well.

Having a family that I am incredibly close to. Knowing that they are there for me no matter what.

My husband, The Lieutenant, who offers to help make dinner even after a long day at work. Who vacuums the living room. Who has a strong sense of honor and desire to serve his country. Who puts our marriage before his own desires. Who takes care of me.

Our apartment. It's adorable and I love the fact that The Lieutenant and I decorated it together.

The fact that God has provided for all of our needs, even when we didn't ask.

The fact that I talked to my sister Kellie for almost 3 hours on the phone yesterday.

That I, my husband and my family are all healthy.

That every day is another adventure.

Meet La Madre

My mom came to visit last week!

In this post I introduced my sisters. Now it's time to meet my mom!
This picture is actually kind of old- taken during my sophomore year of college- but it's one of my favorites.
 This is Lorraine. She's awesome.
People always say we look alike. I'd have to agree.
She actually never wears her hair like this- usually it's super curly but like I said, I just really like this picture. She is a pretty tough cookie. She is also very honest and straightforward and usually has some good advice up her sleeve. I like to think that she did a great job raising her children despite the fact that we always outnumbered her and wrapped my dad around our finger. She has instilled in me so many important values- everything from the disdain of jarred pasta sauce to the love of reading.
I owe Lorraine a lot.

While my mom was visiting last week, we took a road trip.

Here are the highlights:

 we decided to take a road trip - the gps took us on the most back-woods route known to man - we went to visit my cousin melissa, who just happened to be in the area! - did I mention, she's pregnant with her first baby! - then mom and melissa looked pretty - the end

I've decided that having your mother come visit you in your own home for the first time is a little bit weird.

I mean, I had an apartment in college, but it was different back then. My mom would stop by, but she never visited. She never stayed the night. I guess it's just different because even though I was living at college, my real home was still with her and my dad. 

But this is my home now.

So yeah, it was definitely kind of weird. 

But also really fun.

On loss

By now I should be used to the cold...
Mid-February shouldn’t be so scary

It's weird when someone dies.

Things still go on, they change, people around you change, but that person lives on in your mind...

untouched by time, there in your memory.

Your favorite records make me feel better
Cause you sing along with every song
I know you didn’t mean to give them to me

Sometimes it feels like everyone around you has moved on. Sometimes it feels like you've moved right on with them... But then something happens, you hear a certain song, you smell a certain smell, you have a thought... 

In that moment, you feel like nothing has changed. 

You went away
How dare you?
I miss you
 

Grief is strange like that. It can hide under the surface for a long time without you realizing it's still there. But it is. I'm not sure that you ever really move past losing someone you love. You go on, but sadness is still there.

I guess that's OK because looking back with sadness means there is something beautiful there to remember.

They say I'll be ok

But I’m not going to ever get over you

JER. GSP. WDAB. HLS. MJB. MAF. <3

On Recipes: No knead bread.

Let me tell you a secret.

I love bread.

Actually, it's no secret. Anyone who knows me will tell you how much I love bread.
Bread is delicious. I love soft bread, crunchy bread, warm bread, sourdough, wheat, garlic bread...
My love for bread knows no bounds.

Unfortunately despite my avid love, I know nothing about baking bread.

My mom, who is a great cook, grew up in South Philly. With an Italian bakery on every corner, buying was more economical than baking. Hence, the art of bread-making was never passed down to me. That's why this recipe is SO EXCITING! It's SO easy, even a bread-novice (aka me) can make it!

I baked my FIRST LOAF OF BREAD TODAY and it was delicious!
And yes, it came out looking just as rustic and amazing as the above picture. Thanks to Steamy Kitchen for sharing this awesome recipe to begin with!

If you've never baked bread before, don't be scared. All you need is:

3 cups bread flour  
1/4 teaspoon instant yeast 
1 teaspoon fine table salt 
1 1/2 cups warm water

When I made it, I didn't even use bread flour, just unbleached all purpose. The recipe also says you can use whole wheat flour, which I intend to try as soon as I finish eating this entire loaf all by myself

Now, if you'll excuse me...


Photo borrowed from Steamy Kitchen. For the entire recipe click here

On Albums: Switchfoot's The Beautiful Letdown

My generation is a generation of music.

We define our lives through lyrics and songs.

Technology has made music a part of us unlike any generation before.

It goes everywhere with us. It affects our moods. It defines who we are.

Ask a person my age what kind of music they listen to.

Their answer will tell you a lot about who they are as a person.

When Switchfoot recorded "The Beautiful Letdown" they weren't even signed to a record label. Nevertheless, when the album was released in 2003 it reached almost instant widespread popularity and  a lot of the songs were played on major market stations despite the obvious Christian themes. 

In rediscovering this CD, I think it's because the lyrics on this album are so powerful and honest. 

I think my generation is searching for honesty and truth. 

We're a little cynical-- maybe a little jaded.

But we're still searching.

don't close your eyes.

this is your life:
are you who you wanna be?


when everything inside you 
knows there's more than what you've heard

there's so much more than empty conversations 
filled with empty words


there's 24 reasons to admit that I'm wrong

and all my excuses, still 24 strong


I want more than just "OK"


the tension is here,
between who you are are and who you could be
between how it is and how it should be


I wanna see miracles,
to see the world change
I wrestled the angel
for more than a name
for more than a feeling
for more than a cause

maybe redemption is stories to tell

maybe forgiveness is right where you fell

where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where can you gonna go
Salvation is here.

I think the search for truth is ingrained in us.

The fact that there is more.

More than the mundane,

More than the everyday,

More than religion,

More than tradition,

More than what we know,

what we dream,

or can even imagine.

There is just more.

I think that's why the songs on this album speak so strongly to my generation.

They certainly speak to me.

we were meant to live for so much more

I dare you to move. 

My Sister, My Friend

I was thinking just today
About how we used to play
Barbie dolls and make-up,
Tea parties, dress up...

Sisters are the best.
Maybe I'm a little biased because I grew up in a house of all girls and never had a brother.
But there's something special about a bond between girls who have seen each other through life's ups and downs. They're the friends you never out-grow and the enemies you usually make up with five seconds after the fight started.

I have five sisters.
Together we make an inseparable group of six.
Two were born from the same mother and father as I was.
Two joined the family and have been there through thick and thin.
One is part in law and in love.

Meet my sisters:

 Kellie is the oldest.
She's the mama hen-- the voice of wisdom.
She looks out for the rest of us.
She's a great listener
But she has to be
Because she's the big sister.

Bean's given name is actually Brenda

But nobody calls her that. 

To us, she's just Bean.

She's a wild child. 

And a United States Marine.

She's been on a ship in the Mediterranean Sea for the past 11 months.

But she's coming home tomorrow. 

Manda cries if she steps on a bug.

She has a tender heart.
But it's part of what makes her so amazing.
She's always been a loyal friend. 

She was around long before The Lieutenant and I started dating

Now she's my sister 

I know she'll there for me forever.

Amanda marches to her own rhythm.

She's a free spirit.

And she's always been my better half.

We balance each other's strengths and weaknesses.

Even though she's younger than I am, 

In many ways, I look up to her.

Audrey is the baby sister. 

People always ask us if we're twins.

But actually, she's 6 years younger than I am. 

She's kind of an old soul, 

wise for her years.

I guess she's learned from some of our mistakes.

And I'm glad for that. 

It's late and I should go
But I can't hang up the phone

Until I tell you

What I don't tell you enough...

I remember when I was younger my mom used to tell me, "Friends come and go, but sisters are forever."

I guess I never really understood what that meant until I became an adult.
In high school everyone is your best friend.
In college you have a group of best friends.
But when you become an adult, you realize who your best friends really are.

And mine are my sisters.

I love you all.
Wouldn't trade you for anything.

Even though at times it seemed

We were more like enemies

I'd do it all again

My sister, my friend.

Most of the pictures above were taken by Donna Good. Like them? Check out her site, www.alifeinfocusphotography.com

I am in the Army.

The title of my blog has changed.

Did you notice?

During the past year my blog has evolved from a place where I vent about my day, to a place where I share my opinions, to a place where I keep my family updated on happenings in my life from afar... I feel like my blog should reflect me and where I am on my life-journey. The fact is that right now, my life is more about supporting The Lieutenant than it is about being the care-free, shoe-loving, shop-a-lot, 20-something that I may have been in the past. And I'm OK with that.
In fact, I kind of like it.

Hence, the addition to my blog title.

This week I attended an Army Family Team Building Class. Basically it's a class to inform spouses and help them be better prepared to support their service-members. But the Army likes to give things long and complicated names so that they can then turn them into acronyms. Therefore instead of Family Class we get AFTB Class. Isn't that just the government for you...?

But I digress.

During the class I learned at least one revolutionary thing.

I am in the Army.

No, I haven't decided to enlist... but nevertheless I am in. See, the Lieutenant chose the Army. He promised to support and defend the United States Constitution against all enemies. But I chose The Lieutenant.

For all you math students out there, this is the transitive property of equality.

I guess I just never thought of it this way before but when it comes down to it, I chose the Army.
And by marrying The Lieutenant, I am in it.
This realization seems revolutionary to me, because it allows me to truly be a part of things, instead of being on the outside looking in. It's all of the difference between being on a ride of your own accord or being dragged along against your will.

Because if I'm in it with him
then it becomes OUR journey,
instead of a trip I never wanted or planned for.

And only then can I truly become a partner in the ride.

A Hallelujah Post

A lot of times it's hard for me to see the big picture. 
That's really why I wanted to post today to remind future-me that even when things seem difficult or confusing I need to remember that there is always a larger plan that I can't see.

Here's my story about that:

Yesterday I opened my email to find two things in my inbox. Two answers to prayer, to be exact, right there in my gmail. One was a quick note from the on-post marketing director saying that their office will most likely have an position available within the next month. After yesterday's post I think it's pretty clear why this email had me jumping up and down with joy.

The second thing in my inbox was a little more personal.

See, The Lieutenant and I have started attending a church here and decided to try and find a small group there to get plugged in. I'll give you this: the church we've been going to is a pretty big. 
But we had no idea that the "small group connection night" would he HUGE. There was nothing "small" about it. We walked in and were immediately completely overwhelmed. There were at least a hundred booths set up, each representing a different small group. It looked like a college fair. It looked like this:

Actually, it was this. YEEAH. This is an ACTUAL photo of that night. Upon seeing this sight I (being severely overwhelmed as previously stated) wanted to leave but The Lieutenant suggested we walk around.
And that's how I somehow found myself talking with two ladies from a group specifically for spouses of military men.

So the second email in my gmail (I'm such a poet!) was from this group: Wives of Warriors.

Now is it a miracle that such a group exists in this town? No. But it is kind of a miracle that I found them, considering the fact that I almost walked out of the door. 

Let's face it, being a military wife is lonely work sometimes. You're far from your friends and family and even more than that, you have to be strong for your man because he's busy being strong for everyone else. I love The Lieutenant and I'm really proud of him but I have to say, it's not an easy life we have laid out before us.  I think that's why the second email meant so much to me. It's so important to build a network, to have other believers to turn to and a group that you can meet with regularly. I knew I needed to get plugged in but I didn't know how much until I read that email. I think I even cried a little.

I don't know why I worry about what's going to happen in the future when God's clearly got it under control. He's taking care of me.
And that's what this post is really about.

Announcements (and revisiting a past post):

Announcement:
My blog has a new look- it's shabby chic.
and I'm shabby chic.
It's pretty much a match made in heaven.

Another announcement:
The Lieutenant was promoted this month!
His title is still "Lieutenant" but he moved up a rank which was accompanied by a VERY welcome pay raise. The raise came in perfect time, honestly because I am still gainfully UNemployed.

Some of you may remember my previous post in which I explored being a lady of leisure and the reasons that made me an ideal candidate for said lifestyle.

Let me just say that I am re-thinking my position on that topic.

After spending the past three months steadily crafting and redecorating our apartment, writing songs on my guitar and watching endless hours of The Food Network, I've come to the conclusion that being a lady of leisure is actually boring. Let me give a disclaimer by saying that I am fairly sure that this would not be the case if we were living in our hometown surrounded by our family and friends.

BUT as it is, I am living in a new city with exactly ONE friend who has a time-consuming full time teaching job and a husband who works 12 hours a day on the regular.
So being a lady of leisure? Let's just say, it's not 'all that'.

What changed my mind? Maybe it's supply and demand.

Mainly the fact that I'm now demanding a job and nobody seems to be supplying one.

I seem to be playing an unsuccessful game of hide-and-seek.

Yes, indeed,

I have a bachelor's degree in Marketing.

I graduated with a 3.8 GPA.

I have about two years of experience in sales and advertising.

I have volunteer and intern experience in the field.

and I cannot find a job.

Let's just say that it's not the fact that I'm applying for jobs that are above my pay-grade. I've actually applied for jobs that I'm OVER-qualified for, by a lot. A lot a lot.
As in, I've even applied to be a waitress.
A secretary.
Anything that will get me out of the house, really. 

Maybe the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence.
All I can say for sure is that this job-search is a serious lesson in patience.
and I guess I'm learning.
SLOWLY.