Thanks Be

Things I am thankful for:

Having down-time without a job to experiment with fun recipes and feed my husband well.

Having a family that I am incredibly close to. Knowing that they are there for me no matter what.

My husband, The Lieutenant, who offers to help make dinner even after a long day at work. Who vacuums the living room. Who has a strong sense of honor and desire to serve his country. Who puts our marriage before his own desires. Who takes care of me.

Our apartment. It's adorable and I love the fact that The Lieutenant and I decorated it together.

The fact that God has provided for all of our needs, even when we didn't ask.

The fact that I talked to my sister Kellie for almost 3 hours on the phone yesterday.

That I, my husband and my family are all healthy.

That every day is another adventure.

Meet La Madre

My mom came to visit last week!

In this post I introduced my sisters. Now it's time to meet my mom!
This picture is actually kind of old- taken during my sophomore year of college- but it's one of my favorites.
 This is Lorraine. She's awesome.
People always say we look alike. I'd have to agree.
She actually never wears her hair like this- usually it's super curly but like I said, I just really like this picture. She is a pretty tough cookie. She is also very honest and straightforward and usually has some good advice up her sleeve. I like to think that she did a great job raising her children despite the fact that we always outnumbered her and wrapped my dad around our finger. She has instilled in me so many important values- everything from the disdain of jarred pasta sauce to the love of reading.
I owe Lorraine a lot.

While my mom was visiting last week, we took a road trip.

Here are the highlights:

 we decided to take a road trip - the gps took us on the most back-woods route known to man - we went to visit my cousin melissa, who just happened to be in the area! - did I mention, she's pregnant with her first baby! - then mom and melissa looked pretty - the end

I've decided that having your mother come visit you in your own home for the first time is a little bit weird.

I mean, I had an apartment in college, but it was different back then. My mom would stop by, but she never visited. She never stayed the night. I guess it's just different because even though I was living at college, my real home was still with her and my dad. 

But this is my home now.

So yeah, it was definitely kind of weird. 

But also really fun.

On loss

By now I should be used to the cold...
Mid-February shouldn’t be so scary

It's weird when someone dies.

Things still go on, they change, people around you change, but that person lives on in your mind...

untouched by time, there in your memory.

Your favorite records make me feel better
Cause you sing along with every song
I know you didn’t mean to give them to me

Sometimes it feels like everyone around you has moved on. Sometimes it feels like you've moved right on with them... But then something happens, you hear a certain song, you smell a certain smell, you have a thought... 

In that moment, you feel like nothing has changed. 

You went away
How dare you?
I miss you
 

Grief is strange like that. It can hide under the surface for a long time without you realizing it's still there. But it is. I'm not sure that you ever really move past losing someone you love. You go on, but sadness is still there.

I guess that's OK because looking back with sadness means there is something beautiful there to remember.

They say I'll be ok

But I’m not going to ever get over you

JER. GSP. WDAB. HLS. MJB. MAF. <3